We’re already well into the 2nd week of January of 2019, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself – how many of your “New Year Resolutions’ have you already broken? Yeah, me too. Or, maybe you just didn’t truly feel to do any. Perhaps because of a lack of motivation or just because ‘resolutions’ don’t resonate with you?
I, myself, am not huge on making ‘New Year Resolutions’, because I don’t, in general, think we need to wait for a year to change in order to start changing our lives for the better. I also don’t like to call it “change”, but simply becoming a better version of yourself so that you can enjoy life even further.
We end up putting far too much pressure on ourselves from January 1st which normally results in an unnecessary amount of stress & then we’re right back at square one, feeling shattered and lacking motivation – a little bit like lots of people do towards the end of the year.
So, how do we break this cycle? How do we create positive goals that will serve us instead of bringing us down and making us feel we’re doomed for failure?
Below is a few of my suggestions and swaps for you to try this year:
1. Swap obsessive portion-sizing for practicing mindful eating; the next time you eat, try to sit down and be truly present in the moment. Remember to chew your food (recommendation is 30 times) properly so that the food is broken down and the nutrients can be absorbed by your body as it’s meant to. Slowing down, and being present when eating will automatically help you to stop when you’re full as you’ll notice your body’s signals far clearer than when we’re stressing over eating too little or too much. Just listen to your gut (literally and figuratively speaking).
2. Swap focusing on what you could’ve done for what you’ve actually achieved; it’s so easy to get caught up in the negative. As humans, we’re very quick at directing our focus towards all the things that aren’t going right in our lives, or all the things we could’ve and should’ve done.. Instead, try to focus on the good things, focus on what you’ve actually achieved. Before going to bed every night, note down 3 things that you’ve achieved that day. It can be something simple like “I got out of bed” or “I meditated”. It doesn’t need to have changed the world, but small positive affirmations will help to reinstate your own belief in yourself and your own capabilities.
3. Swap jumping out of bed for taking your sweet-as* time; are you one of those jumping out of bed in the morning as soon as your alarm goes off? Are you also stressed? If you’re nodding yes, then it might be time to re-think your morning routine. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and stressed as soon as your eyes open in the morning, try to take your time and let your body and mind wake up more gently. Incorporate morning-meditation, foam-rolling followed by topical Magnesium application on sore muscles, morning walks, herbal teas and listening to your favourite music. Slowing down in the morning and having a beautiful morning-routine can really set us up for the day ahead and often allow us to make more healthy, rational choices.
4. Stop comparing your life to other’s for accepting your own & draw inspiration from them; “comparison is the thief of joy” and never have anything resonated as much with me as this saying does. We live in a day and age where everyone is online, all the time. Sometimes that can be great, and sometimes it can be very bad. Mentally, we very often look at how everyone else live a ‘better’ and more ‘exciting’ life than what we do, but reality is, that we do not know what’s going on behind the scenes. Instead of getting upset, or comparing yourself to someone online, why not draw inspiration from them? You want to travel like they do? Great, note the destination down on your bucket list. Want to be able to cook like that masterchef? Awesome, do a cooking-class and start getting more into the kitchen. However, do not compare yourself to bodies and looks. If the person you’re following isn’t inspiring you to be a better person, then I say; UNFOLLOW straight away.
5. Swap socialising all the time for guilt-free alone-time; this is a hard one for many. Me in particular. But, I’ve come to learn that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be alone and have quality-time with yourself. I’m realising that if I don’t have the energy to be social, then why am I forcing myself to be? I’m swapping the ‘I should‘ to ‘do I want to?’ whenever I say yes or no to a social gathering. I also ask myself whether it’ll serve me right or not, and the times I do say no, I’m allowing myself a guilt-free space that I can relax and recuperate in. I’ll stick by my decision and I’ll follow through with it.
If you have a hard time being alone, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself why?
6. Swap running away from problems to being okay with going through the motions; Delayed Gratification. Have you ever heard about this principle? It describes the process that a person undergoes when said person resists the temptation of an immediate reward in preference for a later reward. Generally, delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later. It perfectly relates to how many people are living. We never want to sit in ‘the pits’ and be uncomfortable, so we very often choose to run away from our problems and get the instant ‘fix’, however nothing grows from that space and we continue to come back to the same problems, over and over again. On the other hand; if we dare to step into the unknown, to sit in the pain, give it time, eventually, it will pass and we will add that pain to our learnings and our key-strengths. Try to be okay with uncomfortability; it’s where the magic happens.
7. Swap being perfect for embracing your perfect imperfections; I’m not sure if you’re feeling this shift that I think is coming, or is already underway? But I’ve felt it for a while. Even within myself. Embracing our perfect imperfections instead of living lives that fit neatly into a box or under a label. What’s the fun in being perfect? And what is perfection? Size 6, marble-like skin, long curly hair? Embrace yourself – no matter what you look like. Be real. Be YOU. Unapologetically you.
I hate to break it to you, but you can only rely less and less on your looks the older you get. What truly matters in this life is not how long your hair is, the size of your bank account or even how big your house is; the difference lay within you. What will change you, what will change the world, what will leave a legacy once you’re gone, is the person that you’ve become & how you treated people along the way. Choose to be a good person.
Please don’t be overwhelmed by the above. I want you to feel the exact opposite. I want you to know that you are already perfect just as you are. You don’t need to change.. But what you, and we all need to, is GROW. Growth is part of our life, part of our spiritual path. Choose this, not because you have to, but because you want to.
All my love, Caroline x
